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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24918046">WPaRG Intermission: Smoother than Oil, Sweeter than Gall</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelonianmobile/pseuds/chelonianmobile'>chelonianmobile</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultiFanGirlWickedPony/pseuds/MultiFanGirlWickedPony'>MultiFanGirlWickedPony</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writearoundchic/pseuds/Writearoundchic'>Writearoundchic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>WPaRG [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rango (2011)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Blackmail, Blasphemy, Burns, Cuckolding, Cuckquean, Cults, Death Threats, F/M, Homophobia, Hypocrisy, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Necrophilia, Infidelity, M/M, Racism, Rape, Threats of Violence, Torture, misuse of Bible quotes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:43:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,304</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24918046</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelonianmobile/pseuds/chelonianmobile, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultiFanGirlWickedPony/pseuds/MultiFanGirlWickedPony, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writearoundchic/pseuds/Writearoundchic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The representative of God's Will First makes useful contacts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rango/Beans, Rattlesnake Jake/Beans, Rattlesnake Jake/Rango</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>WPaRG [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Then the Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven; And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.”</em>
</p><p>The closest Jacob Cardoso can come is dropping a cigarette butt and watching it scorch a little patch of grass, but oh, how he wishes. He gazes out on the town he was born in and imagines it aflame. He could do it. Most of the place is still built of wood. Not today, though. He has business.</p><p>Abel Rango is the kind that only <em>thinks</em> of himself as a careful man. Not careful enough. No one ever is. Not vigilant enough. He won’t see Jake coming. No one ever does.</p><p>He and that girl of his - Sanchez, Beans Sanchez Hernandez (he knows that name, though she’d never recognise his own) - haven’t seen him at his watching. Not in the night shadows or under the light of day.</p><p>Both are out now. And he knows where they keep their spare key.</p><p>His now. He wonders if they’ll notice when it’s gone.</p><p>Rango, as a rookie cop, works shifts at odd hours. Beans is out all day supervising the running of her little ranch. The odds of one being at home when the other is not are pretty good. Jake doesn’t have to wait too long. And it’s the one he wanted. His lucky day. Rango’s home.</p><p>Rango’s a small man who walks with the swagger of a much bigger one, still young and new to his job and not yet beaten down by life. Jake plans to change that in a hurry. He watches Rango walk up almost to the door, whistling and swinging his keys from his hand, and slithers out behind him.</p><p>“Hello, brother.”</p><p>Predictably, he jumps. Everyone jumps.</p><p>“What the hell?!”</p><p>Even muffled by his hand and gloves of leather, that strikes a nerve. Even if what the man said was not the Lord’s name. In any case, he’d taken it in vain.</p><p>“Quiet,” he whispers, pulling Rango further inside, using a boot to slam shut the door. “Don’t want the neighbors to hear.”</p><p>The cop looks like he does indeed want them to. Jake flicks at the safety of his gun.</p><p>Hands raised. Trembling. Swallowing. “My wallet’s in my pocket.”</p><p>Jake laughs. “Ya talk like I want your worldly goods. ‘Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee; then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?’ ”</p><p>“Are… are you gonna kill me, then?”</p><p>Jake tips his hat. “Nah. I got more in mind, need you livin’. You’re a cop, right?”</p><p>“Huh? Oh. Yes?” Hope blossoms in those goggling eyes.</p><p>“Good. That’s good, brother.”</p><p>“… It is?”</p><p>“Mm. Sure. See, I need myself a favor.”</p><p>“What kind of-” The cop laughs nervously as Jake leans in close.</p><p>“Shhh. See, I got these friends of mine in a bit of trouble. Man like you, in your position… well, you could really help us out.”</p><p>“What do you want?”</p><p>“Your help with this.” Jake reaches in his pocket and fans out a few photos, plucks selected ones from the pack, and turns them to face Rango. “I’m sure you’re familiar with these cases.”</p><p>“Huh?” Rango takes the pictures and flings them away in horror. “Aah! What- you want me to- is that…?”</p><p>The Andriana case; Rango’s seen the doctor’s photos of the half-healed scars, and here the wounds are fresh and bleeding. A blonde woman he’s not familiar with, blood between her legs, eyes rolled back in death. Photos of Rango himself going about his daily business, and of his neighbours, and of Miss Sanchez…</p><p>“Yeah. Here’s how this is gonna go, boy,” Jake says, fanning the remaining photos back and forth. “I name the names. You go make sure your friends don’t know ‘em.”</p><p>“What are…” Rango pales as much as he can. “… Okay. Okay, I’ll… whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. Just… leave the people here alone.”</p><p>“Oh, don’t you worry now.” Churning shadows and flashing teeth. “I ain’t gonna touch ‘em. Not yet.”</p><p>“That’s-”</p><p>“Good ‘nuff for now, ain’t it?”</p><p>
  <em>“O give thanks unto the Lord for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever.”</em>
</p><p>Or perhaps, Jake thinks, it endureth for today.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”</em>
</p><p>Jake’s been watching Abel Rango and Beans Sanchez for many, many months. There is only one bed in their house, and no ring on either of their hands.</p><p>This time, Rango’s out. Time he put the fear of God into the lady, or at least the fear of Jake.</p><p>He knocks at the front door.</p><p>Miss Sanchez is red-haired and freckled pale. The opposite of her unnatural mate in a good many ways.</p><p>She answers. Jake blows a smoke ring out through his lips in a heavy puff.</p><p>“Who’re you?” She’s suspicious. “Whatdya want?”</p><p>“Good mornin’, miss. I just been passin’ by, and I thought I should warn ya - heard of those cult murders? They say they might be spreadin’ out this-a-way.”</p><p>“Of-of course I’ve heard of ‘em,” she says, frowning. “Thought they was mostly up in the big city or the woods, not out here.”</p><p>“Well, can’t be too careful,” he says solicitously, eyes all sympathy. “I know there’s a lotta folks might be targets out here. Can’t say as they likes folks who might be, say, foreign.” His voice is becoming just a hint more sinister, and she takes a step back. “Or different otherwise. Or, just speakin’ hypothetically, a good white Christian girl spendin’ her time with a man who ain’t.”</p><p>Now she’s defensive. “Well, that’s no problem, since I ain’t white. Well, part, way back, but that’s the same for most folk like me…”</p><p>“Oh, honey, you’d count.” While she’s taken briefly off-guard, he steps into the house and kicks the door shut, looming over a head taller than her. “They still believe <em>I</em> am, too.”</p><p>Of course she startles, goes a-reaching for her gun. And of course she never gets her hand there.</p><p>“Wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Jake says, and his own piece flashes in the light.</p><p>“What do you-”</p><p>Photos. Keeping the gun trained on her, he brings out the photos and fans them out before her face.</p><p>Her jaw drops. So does her hand.</p><p>“Now, now, Miss Beans, I just wanna talk.” He takes her arm and marches her to the couch. “Just for a moment.”</p><p>“Wh-what do you want?” She’s pale now, freckles standing out like blood drops on a sheet. <em>But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel; then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die.</em></p><p>“Why, to <em>warn</em> you! You think I lied?”</p><p>“This don’t seem like a warnin’…”</p><p>“Then call it an offer.”</p><p>“What <em>kind</em> a’ offer?”</p><p>“Well, these friends of mine are awful interested in this place you got here. All these fine people. I might just be able to convince ‘em to stay away, but… you’d need to do me a little favor in exchange.”</p><p>He can see in those big brown eyes she knows what he means right away, but she dares to hope. “I-I don’t have a lotta money…”</p><p>He rolls his eyes. “If I wanted money, there’s easier ways.” Some things a man can’t buy. Or he could, at the Ark, but it’s too easy there. <em>There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel,</em> but the whores there sure aren’t that no matter how often they pray.</p><p>“What then?”</p><p>“Oh,” he reaches up to play with one thick curl, “you already know that, darling, now, don’t you?”</p><p>
  <em>“And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground.”</em>
</p><p>He pushes her up against the wall and pictures her on her knees.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”</em>
</p><p>Rango needs a reminder again. Another trip to the ranch, and a use of that spare key. When he comes in, Jake’s on him, hand over his mouth, before he can scream.</p><p>“I think you do miss me, brother,” he laughs. “Why else would I need to come and see you so much? Can’t be that you’re forgettin’ our deal, can it?” He shakes Rango by the collar, eyes ablaze.</p><p>“What?! But I…” The lawman struggles to find his words. “I-I did what you-”</p><p>“You ain’t done enough.”</p><p>“What are you talking about?!”</p><p>“Your heart ain’t in it. You ain’t trying very hard.”</p><p>“How hard should I be trying?! I… Mr… Jake, please! I did what you wanted! I did! Please!”</p><p>Jake steps back, eyes still fixed on Rango’s. Rango isn’t looking down. Good. Jake wants to drag this out a little longer…</p><p>“Awww, shoot, you’re tuggin’ on this ol’ outlaw’s heartstrings,” he drawls, looking Rango up and down. “Maybe I shan’t consider the deal broken. ‘For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.’ ” He lets the little man sag, letting out his held breath, and adds “But I can’t just let it go, can I? Can’t let it slip without some penance. That wouldn’t be fair at all.”</p><p>Rango tenses again. “Penance?”</p><p>“A little reminder of your sins, boy.”</p><p>“What do you-?”</p><p>Jake pulls him close.</p><p>“You know a thing or two ‘bout what we do with sinners, don’t you, brother?”</p><p>“W-what?!”</p><p>“Oh don’t you worry now, it ain’t nothin’ that’s gonna… hurt.”</p><p>Not yet.</p><p>“Please don’t ki-”</p><p>“I’m not gonna kill you…”</p><p>“Then wha-”</p><p>Jake pretends to think.</p><p>And then:</p><p>“Get on your knees.”</p><p>Now Rango realises that’s not a gun barrel, and the look on his face makes Jake nearly laugh out loud.</p><p>“W-what? No! I’m not gonna do that-”</p><p>“Oh, well, maybe someone else will be more accommodatin’. Li’l Priscilla Varela lives just down the road, don’t she?”</p><p>“No! No, she’s only a baby! Leave her alone!”</p><p>Teeth glittering. “Then do what I said and get on your knees. C’mon, it’s easy, like you’re prayin’.” Jake’s hand presses on the top of his head and helps him down.</p><p>
  <em>“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”</em>
</p><p>The purr of a zipper. Rango sinks all the way down.</p><p>And what follows feels like heaven, but sounds nothing like a prayer.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”</em>
</p><p>“Apologize to him.”</p><p>“Wh-what?”</p><p>Jake runs a finger up and down the wooden picture frame. A man with goggle eyes behind the glass.</p><p>“Apologize,” he says again. “For being a cheating whore.”</p><p>“Don’t call me that!”</p><p>His nails dig into the flesh of her arms and she cries out.</p><p>“I said,” he begins dangerously, “apologize.”</p><p>“I’m not cheatin’…”</p><p>“I’m inside you right now, whore, whaddya call that?”</p><p>“I didn’t want this…”</p><p>“Sure you did. What you didn’t want is what’d happen if you didn’t. Or what’s gonna happen if you don’t do as I say.” The click of a safety.</p><p>She looks at the photo and swallows, and says “Abel, I-I’m sorry!”</p><p>“Aw, c’mon. You can do better, darlin’.”</p><p>“I-I’m sorry for bein’ a cheatin’ whore,” she repeats. The gun isn’t put away. “I’m… I’m sorry I’m such a slut! I’m sorry I’m so weak!”</p><p>“Hm?” He flicks the safety on and off. “I ain’t convinced, babygirl.”</p><p>“I’m sorry that I… I…” Tearful eyes turn on Jake. “What the hell do you want me to say?!”</p><p>“Tell him what you are…”</p><p>“I’m a whore… and a slut and I’m <em>sorry</em>!”</p><p>“Better…”</p><p>“I’m… I’m fuckin’ a guy in our house! I’m sorry you thought you could trust me!”</p><p>“He is a pretty sorry feller, ain’t he?” Jake muses.</p><p>“I’m sorry… I’m sorry you weren’t enough!” she cries in a moment of inspiration. “Sorry I gave you my first time and then found someone else! Sorry I had to go to Jaaaake!” Her eyes roll back and she falls, stiff as a board and still.</p><p>
  <em>“Because the carnal mind [is] enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.”</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Who maketh his angels spirits; his ministers a flaming fire.”</em>
</p><p>Jacob Cardoso holds a cigarette lighter in one hand. The other finds purchase at Abel Rango’s throat.</p><p>In pictures fire is red or else orange, but the end of his own light burns white and celestial yellow. An angel’s flame.</p><p>Rango’s coughing, Jake’s fingers digging in, and his eyes are almost shut. He may not see the light, or he may see it and not register what it is. Either way, he reacts with confusion to the heat, and utter terror to the pain.</p><p>
  <em>“I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled?”</em>
</p><p>He’s read before about the Salem witch trials. About the marks the Devil leaves behind. To suckle familiars.</p><p>He burns a path of lesions into the lawman’s own flesh, listens as Rango yelps out loud.</p><p>And the lighter stays <em>lit</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.”</em>
</p><p>“I’m <em>not</em> gonna call him that,” she says, jaw set, eyes flashing, darting to the picture of her mate. To his skin tone. “Hell, I'm not gonna call <em>anyone</em> that!”</p><p>He could force her to. Of course. But today he wants to see if a gentler approach will work.</p><p>“Okay,” he says. “Can’t be bothered makin’ ya.”</p><p>She’s suspicious, of course. But she wants this over with too much to question.</p><p>When he’s done, she lies still on the bed. She’s not in one of her fits; he’s learned to tell. She’s just not ready to move yet. He heads for the door and she still doesn’t move.</p><p>Downstairs, he opens the front door, then closes it, but does not leave. Not yet. The sounds of her getting up and turning on the shower filter downstairs. He has a good ten minutes. Maybe more.</p><p>In the pantry, he finds flour, milk, and strawberry jam. Anything that will make a mess. He hurls the flour bag at the ceiling, and with a <em>paf</em> sound it bursts and coats the room.</p><p>The mess is wonderful. Red like blood and white like bone fragments and with glass all strewn across the walls and floor.</p><p>Jake laughs. All of him laughs, madly - quietly - a terrible hissing sort of sound.</p><p>Another hiss fills the room. The sound of a zipper coming down.</p><p>And yet another <em>sssss</em> that follows.</p><p>He leaves a note. <em>HAVE FUN.</em> Maybe she’ll even finish cleaning before her boy gets home.</p><p>
  <em>“And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.”</em>
</p><p>Next month, she says it with no argument.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>“If I wait, the grave is mine house; I have made my bed in the darkness.”</i>
</p><p>Rango and Sanchez’ bed is not in darkness now. Why conceal what is happening from the sinner’s eyes? Rango tries, burying his face in a pillow, or perhaps he’s wiping tears away. Jake barely cares.</p><p>“Goddamn, I’ve had corpses moved more’n you,” he snarls, pulling Rango back. “Maybe I should try that again.”</p><p>“N-no, Jake, no!” Rango makes a halfhearted attempt to push back. Damn, he didn’t even need the gun this time. Still, his little Judas can do better, and he will.</p><p>“Or maybe I’m just not doin’ it right…” Jake adjusts their angle, and Rango whines. “Thaaat’s better.”</p><p>“Oh! Oh, <i>fuck</i>!” Rango knows by now what happens if he takes the Lord’s name in vain.</p><p>He had turned the photo on the bedside table face down. Jake picks it up, and turns Rango’s head to it. “You gonna apologize to her?”</p><p>“F-for what?”</p><p>“What d’you <i>think</i>, faggot? <i>‘Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.’</i> ”</p><p>“What do you think <i>you’re</i> doing?!”</p><p>A hand that wraps around Rango’s throat. Eyes blaze. “I’m <i>punishin’</i> the sinner.”</p><p><i>You don’t seem to hate the sin,</i> Rango thinks… but of course he’d never say it aloud. <i>She</i> would. She was ever the braver of the two.</p><p>
  <i>“But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.”</i>
</p><p>“… I’m sorry, Beans…” And he is.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Thou hast set our iniquities before thee, our secret sins in the light of thy countenance.”</em>
</p><p>Click. Click. Whirrrr…</p><p>“What’re you-?”</p><p>“Smile for the camera, babygirl.”</p><p>“No!” Beans snatches at the phone in his hand. “No, you can’t!”</p><p>Jake turns the phone and shows her what the camera caught. “Seems our li’l lawman friend might be mighty interested to see this.”</p><p>“You bastard! Don’t you dare!”</p><p>He holds her at bay with ridiculous ease. “Yeah, you’re right. Don’t wanna end our fun so soon, do we?” Glittering eyes. “I got a better use for a phone, anyway.”</p><p>“What are you-”</p><p>“How about you call your little boyfriend for me?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You heard me, darlin’. Dial ‘im up…”</p><p>“What? No!”</p><p>Jake’s hand moves fast. Another click, and this time it’s the safety catch.</p><p>“What was that?”</p><p>Beans swallows, and says “Okay… sir.” Slowly, she taps the numbers. “Um, aren’t you gonna-?” She gestures to him.</p><p>He chuckles and shakes his head. “Oh, honey, you don’t know how this game is played. You talk. I stay.”</p><p>The phone starts to ring. The gun does not move.</p><p>“Y’ello? This is Abel Rango speaking.”</p><p>“Abel, honey? It’s Beans. I’m not interruptin’ anything, am I? Just wanted to hear your voice.”</p><p>“Beans! No, no, it’s fine. Lunch break. It’s good to hear from you! How’s things on the ranch?”</p><p>“Great…”</p><p>
  <em>“Thou shalt not bear false witness.”</em>
</p><p>Slowly, he starts fucking her again; and when Rango asks, she passes off her groans and sobs as caused by a cramp.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Thou shalt not kill.”</em>
</p><p>Rango’s pulled his gun. Jake can’t stop laughing in his mind. He steps closer, pulls the barrel against his chest. “Go ahead, li’l man. Pull that trigger.”</p><p>Rango’s hands are shaking so hard he almost drops the gun. He’s biting his lip bloody. If he was going to shoot Jake, he would have done it before.</p><p>“You know what’ll happen if I don’t come back, boy,” Jake purrs. “I’m the only thing holdin’ back the tide of justice against this hellhole town. You really that desperate?”</p><p>Rango is silent. He cocks the gun. He does not shoot.</p><p>“You got killer in your eyes, son? I don’t see it.”</p><p>With one quick movement, Rango turns the gun on his own head. This time, Jake laughs out loud.</p><p>“Ain’t nobody told you suicide’s a sin?”</p><p>“So’s this.”</p><p>“So says the sinner.”</p><p>“I… I’ll-”</p><p>“Do it an’ I’ll wait for that girl a’ yours to come on back here,” he says. “And I’ll make her lie down with your sorry corpse.”</p><p>“You-”</p><p>“Might just fuck it too. Fuck her on top a’ it. Who knows… not much to do out in these parts.”</p><p>“You wouldn’t.”</p><p>Jake grabs his collar and roars, “<em>There is nothing I wouldn’t!</em>”</p><p>Rango puts the safety back on and flings the gun across the room. “Okay! Okay, I put it down, I won’t do it.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>He makes Rango bleed for this. More than usual.</p>
  </div></div>
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